


Subjugation

by KinkyPlotBunny



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Dominance and Submission, Gen, No Sex, loads of feelings tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27148261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KinkyPlotBunny/pseuds/KinkyPlotBunny
Summary: Tony will NOT play by Loki's rules. No way. I mean why whould he.
Comments: 32
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jotunemo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jotunemo/gifts).



> This one is fully and completely jotunemo’s fault.
> 
> Let’s assume Loki is working with the Avengers (and living at Stark Tower) sometime after the Battle of New York. I hate creating backstory. It doesn’t matter, believe me.

Whatever Loki said, no matter how casual, to Tony's ears there was always an echo of the trickster’s Stuttgart speech in his voice. Which really boiled down to one word. _Kneel._ He wanted to. So badly. But Tony Stark didn't kneel. Tony fought. With his mind, or with his suited fists - and certainly with his sharp tongue.

And then one day he found himself eye to eye with the god of mischief, and said sharp tongue turned to lead. Loki just looked at him - down on him, actually, which was kinda annoying - with a very irritating smirk. And Tony's knees buckled. He caught himself, but Loki had definitely seem it. The smirk intensified.

“Is there anything I can do for you, Stark?”

‘Please just let me do something for _you_ ,’ Tony almost said, ‘anything, actually,’ but he swallowed it. Unfortunately nothing else came to mind either. Loki was downright grinning now. He waved a slender, elegant hand, there was a green and golden glow following his motion, and Tony felt like himself again. Also he felt exhausted, and empty. Hollow. Sad.

“What did you just do to me?” he half growled between clenched teeth.

“A favour, Stark. I like you.”

Which didn't make any sense at all.

Tony couldn't stop thinking about what Loki had done to him. A spell of some sort, obviously. But why? Just one of Loki's cruel little jokes? And what on earth was that bullshit about doing him a favour? Please! He felt like shit. What kind of favour makes you feel like shit? He vaguely remembered feeling something else, though. Before Loki had...lifted his spell. If that's what that was.

So the next evening Tony barged into Loki’s Stark Tower quarters.

“We need to talk.”

Loki was sitting on the couch, cross legged, a book hovering in the air in front of him at convenient reading height. He didn’t even look up.

“Good evening to you too, Stark.”

Tony waved a hand.

“Yeah whatever, can we skip that? Great. So. What in the everloving fuck –"

“No.” Loki straightened, vanished the book, and set his feet on the floor. “We can't. You will be polite and respectful. As will I. Until you ask me not to.”

“Excuse me?!”

The trickster was making even less sense than usual. Which was saying a lot. That mind was a bag of cats! Box. Whatever.

“Look, I don’t know what the fuck you think you—"

“Anthony.”

Tony stopped. Just stopped. Stopped talking. Stopped thinking. Stopped breathing even.

“Breathe.”

Yes. Right. Breathing was a good idea.

“Look at me.”

All of a sudden it was kinda ridiculous not to. As if focussing on Loki's eyes was the only sensible option. Were they green or blue by the way?

“Are you alright with me calling you Anthony?”

“Nobody calls me Anthony.”

“I do.”

“No you don't. You call me Stark.”

“I'd really prefer Anthony though. But I won't if you're not comfortable with it.”

It really was impossible to answer that when his brain was frozen.

“I believe I told you to breathe.”

“What are you doing to me?” Tony finally blurted out.

“You can feel it?”

“Huh?”

Loki waved his hand, and Tony felt like himself. Only he didn't.

“For fuck's sake Reindeer Games! Get out of my damn brain!”

“It's not your brain I've invaded, Stark.”

Gentle. Soft.

“Whatever you're doing, stop doing it. Five minutes ago!”

Loki looked... hurt? Whatever it was, it was over in the blink of an eye.

“I'm not doing anything right now.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I begrudgingly inserted a few lines that one might consider back story. *huffs out breath* that's all you get. I think.

Tony avoided the trickster for days after that. He thought it would help him clear his mind and dissolve Loki's spell. It didn't work. If anything, Tony felt more and more restless. Uneasy. He had a minor panic attack for no reason. And then just barely dodged another one not even 24 hours later. Obviously the god of mischief had been lying straight to his face when he said he wasn't doing anything. Quelle surprise.

So Tony gave in. Another thing Tony Stark didn’t do… but what good was his brain to the Avengers if it was sabotaging itself? Yeah nice try, Tony. As if this had anything to do with the Avengers. It felt like the most personal, intimate thing that had happened in Tony’s life for a long time, and he didn’t even know what _it_ was, and it scared the shit out of him. So - Tony Stark gave in. He was fully aware that he was being manipulated, that he was playing into Loki’s plan, whatever it was, and it made him furious. He felt powerless, and it was terrifying. He took a dozen deep breaths outside Loki’s quarters before he told Jarvis to announce him.

“Good evening, Stark,” Loki greeted him from the couch.

No book. Had he been waiting for Tony? Oh god had he _known_ that Tony had been standing outside his door??

“What happened to calling me Anthony?”

Seriously??? Could you possibly sound any more pathetic Tony? Great start. Present yourself for slaughter.

But Loki just gave him a warm, genuine smile.

“You never gave your consent to being called that. So I don’t.”

Consent. A shiver ran down Tony’s spine. Something clicked, somewhere in the back of his head. But he couldn’t access it.

“Is there a reason I haven’t seen you in five days?” Loki went on, still completely relaxed, almost gentle.

“Keeping tabs?”

So now we’re being passive-aggressive instead of whiny. Slight improvement. Although Tony would have preferred if it had come out witty and playful. What the actual fuck? Since when was he trying to impress Loki of Asgard? Banter? Really? With the man who invaded his planet? Who had proved himself a trustworthy ally, for the most part, during the year that had passed since, but still. It was Loki. You never knew with Loki.

Loki’s smile widened, and there was a warm feeling in Tony’s chest. The. Fuck?

“Yes,” Loki said. Simple. Honest. It pulled the rug from under Tony’s feet.

“What are you doing to me?” he asked, and he was shocked to hear resignation in his own voice, exhaustion. It was painfully obvious that he had been wrecking his brain and come up empty. Tony Stark did not fail at solving a puzzle.

“Like I said. A favour.”

“Stop with the cryptic already, Lokster. Fine. You’re smarter than me. Or maybe just more cruel. Also magic is cheating, you know?”

“And science isn’t?”

Tony’s brain screeched to a halt. What did science have to do with…anything?!

He let out a sigh.

“What do you want?”

Loki shook his head.

“Wrong question, Stark. The question we should be discussing it what do _you_ want?”

“Loki please for fuck’s sake my brain hurts.”

“Why?”

“Because-“ no. Nonononono. His fucking voice hadn’t just broken on two fucking syllables! Tony forced himself back under control. His jaw clenched. He consciously unclenched it to make sure he didn’t sound aggressive.

“Please.” Good start. Not aggressive. A tiny bit whiny maybe. “Please explain what you’ve been doing to me.”

“I haven’t _been_ doing anything, Stark. I stopped the moment you told me to. I apologise for approaching this the wrong way. Your customs are still alien to me.”

Alien. The guy had a nerve. 

“What are you even talking about?”

Loki’s eyes narrowed for a moment.

“Please don’t pretend to be any less intelligent than we both know you are.”

“Did you just compliment me?”

“Yes. Since we haven’t negotiated anything yet I will have to rely on my good manners and natural charm.”

Tony burst out laughing. God it felt good. The tension in the air dissolved and he could breathe more easily. Until Loki’s phrasing registered with him. Negotiate. Consent. Oh my god. 

“I’m straight,” he said, and his voice sounded weird in his own ears.

“I beg your pardon?”

“As in not gay.”

The penny dropped before Tony could seriously consider calling himself heterosexual. Loki gave him a smile.

“I see. I will not push you in any direction you don’t wish to go, Stark. You have my word.”

Tony’s body and mind betrayed him. All of a sudden he knew exactly what he wanted – and he was completely unable to voice any of it.

“Anthony,” was all he could get his stupid mouth to say. “Would you please call me Anthony?”

And Loki’s face transformed into an expression Tony had never seen on him before. Nothing but warmth and tenderness, unguarded and real.

“Of course. I’ve been dying to.”

That’s when Tony became acutely aware of the fact that Loki was still sitting comfortably on his couch – Tony’s couch, technically – while he himself was standing in the doorway like a petitioner. In his own house. In his own fucking building!

Tony was absolutely horrified to realise that what he really wanted was to be at Loki’s feet.

Tony’s eyes closed against his will and his shoulders slumped. Loki read it correctly.

“Please come here, Anthony.”

Gentle as it was, it was an order. And obeying it felt like the most beautiful thing Tony could think of doing right now. So he did. Standing over Loki, with the trickster looking up at him, felt entirely wrong.

“Would you like to be on your knees?”

“God yes,” Tony breathed, his throat too dry to allow anything more.

“Very well. Kneel, Anthony.”

Tony couldn’t believe that this was really happening, but he obeyed again. Dropping to his knees he let out a breath and lowered his head.

“Anything you want to tell me?”

“This feels so good. I have no idea…I mean…I…”

Chest heaving, he whispered:

“Thank you,” so low he wasn’t even sure Loki would hear it. But apparently he had, because he answered:

“You’re very welcome, Anthony. I’m glad you feel good.”

Tony closed his eyes and pulled himself together as best he could.

“Please explain the spell you…cast on me?”

Loki drew a breath.

“Can I touch you, Anthony?”

“It… depends, I guess?”

Tony could hear the smile in Loki’s voice when the trickster said:

“Don’t worry. You made it very clear that you have no interest in me sexually. I am merely trying to help you relax.”

“Oh. Okay. I guess.”

Loki put a hand on Tony’s shoulder, light, gentle, surprisingly warm. It worked. Tony breathed more easily than he had in a while.

“I realise you might get angry with me when you understand what I did. But I thought it was worth your anger.”

Loki drew in a breath, and his hand on Tony’s shoulder might have shaken a little. Nervous. He seemed nervous about what he was about to say!

“Hit me,” Tony said, aiming for light and casual, and only after the fact realising that _maybe_ the wording was… less than ideal. But it seemed to work. Loki took another deep breath and said:

“I dispersed the veil you had put around your needs and desires; broke your armour, so to speak, and forced you to _feel_.” Yet another deep breath. “Like I said. It was dubious at best as far as consent goes, and I apologise. But I still believe I was doing you a favour.”

Tony’s head was spinning. How? And what the actual… and…eventually he settled on:

“Why?”

“What do you mean?” Loki asked.

“Why did you do that?”

“Because you needed it.”

Tony glared up at Loki and stood.

“Bullshit. What was in it for you?”

Loki didn’t say anything for a long time. Tony gritted his teeth.

“What. Was in it. For you!”

Loki looked up at Tony.

“I am a very lonely man, Stark. Have been for all my life.”

It took Tony’s breath away. Holy shit. Loki of Asgard baring his soul. It had to be one of the trickster’s…well, tricks, right? But the way Loki looked at him, embarrassed, insecure and a little irritated, felt so incredibly genuine that Tony considered believed him. He squatted down.

“How did you even know there was anything there? To… reveal, I mean?”

Loki started smiling.

“You’re practically an open book, Stark.”

He reached out and gently touched Tony’s shoulder again.

“All the bravado. The big mouth. You put so much energy into having the last word, being in control. Such a need to let everyone know by how much exactly they are outsmarted. It must be exhausting.”

“You’re one to talk,” Tony said with a grin, but he didn’t pull away from the touch.

Loki chuckled.

“Touché.”

And then he turned serious.

“I believe you should be on your knees, Anthony.”

The slightest bit of pressure on Tony’s shoulder, and Tony complied.

“You crave subjugation, Anthony.”

Bam. Tony let out a needy little sound at that word, and then he immediately clenched his teeth.

“That’s not a bad thing. It can be very calming. Grounding. It can feel like…coming home,” Loki went on.

God yes.

“Yes please I want that,” Tony whispered, blushing scarlet.

“I know.”

“It’s just…why should I trust you?”

“I know how hard that is. I’m aware that I will have to earn it.”

Loki stood from the couch and stepped behind Tony, who immediately tensed up.

“Shhh. Please stay right where you are, Anthony.”

Both hands on Tony’s shoulders now. Voice gentle, low but intense.

“You’ve learned to trust me as an ally on the battlefield, all of you. It took time. Of course it did. Maybe with more time you can come to trust me on a more personal level, too. I can be very patient.”

Tony closed his eyes. It took all he had not to lean back against Loki’s body. Ooookay. Can we stay alert here, buddy? He clenched his jaw.

“And you want what in return? A… toy?”

Loki hummed, taking his seat on the couch again.

“Tempting. But I will gladly take what you’re willing to give. Maybe along the way we might become…”

Loki’s voice died away, as if his throat had closed off. Tony chuckled and looked up.

“I believe the word you are looking for is ‘friends’, Loki.”

“I wouldn’t know.”

Tony got up and sat on the couch next to Loki.

“You’re really something else, Reindeer Games,” he said with a sigh.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit is getting serious, y'all.

Loki asked Tony to think about what he wanted from him, what he needed, and come to him when he knew. Tony was…disappointed? Probably? Because he had thought they would just jump in. It was unsettling to realise how willing he was to follow the trickster’s lead. But he was. Eager, even. But Loki was determined to “do this the right way”, whatever the fuck that meant. So Tony found himself in his workshop, chewing on a pencil, taking notes. It was awkward. Embarrassing. And strangely exciting. And then he realised that he had to talk to Loki. Apparently he was supposed to know how “this” worked, but he constantly felt like he had missed class the day it had been taught. Yeah, sure, the internet knew it all, but Loki was a freaking alien. Who said they played by the same rules in Asgard?

The thought of discussing ( _negotiating_ ) his ( _their respective_ ) wants and needs with Loki was terrifying, but once he had come to the realisation that it had to happen, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. So he found himself at Loki’s door once more. Yes, he could have invited Loki to the penthouse instead, but some unspoken rule (one of many, probably) demanded that _he_ went to see _Loki_ , not the other way around.

“Enter.”

Was it Tony’s imagination or did Loki’s voice sound different? More… commanding? He didn’t raise his voice, it was just in his tone. Tony tried to remember if he’d ever heard Loki raise his voice in the year following the battle of New York, but he came up empty. Authority worked best if the person in question made it clear that they didn’t _need_ to raise their voice… Tony cleared his throat and, well, obeyed.

Loki was on the couch again, completely relaxed, slender hands in his lap. Tony was trying to come up with a quip about not having anything to do all day, but his train of thoughts was interrupted when Loki asked:

“Did you complete the task I gave you?”

Gulp.

“No.”

It sounded too loud in the quite room even though Tony had kept his voice (and eyes, for fuck’s sake!) down. When Tony looked up, Loki’s eyebrow was arched, elegant, effortless, slightly annoyed. Tony didn’t want Loki to be annoyed with him! He swallowed and tried again.

“No, I’m sorry. I couldn’t. I started it, but then I got stuck.”

Loki’s whole posture changed.

“I see,” he said with a soft smile. “Please let me know what you were struggling with.”

“Can I… is it okay for me to sit?”

Loki’s smile widened.

“Of course,” he said with a graceful little nod.

 _The guy is a fucking prince_ , Tony thought. _Raised at court. And it shows_. He refused to be impressed by that. Or at least he tried to refuse. It didn’t go so well.

Loki stood and went over to his dining table, offering Tony a seat. Right. The couch would have been a bit… whatever. Tony sat down and reached for the folded up notes in his back pocket. Running a hand through his hair Tony said:

“I’m not sure what I want to be honest. What I need. If I’m able and willing to give _you_ what y _ou_ need. Can you please help me out here?”

Loki looked a little confused.

“Well it seems that Midgardian…I’m sorry, _Earth_ customs differ more from Asgardian customs than I thought. On Asgard, it is customary for the sub to approach the Dom with a list of their wishes, so the Dom can decide if they are willing to take that sub on. If they… match, so to say.”

Tony’s head whirled.

“Are you saying this is a common thing on Asgard?”

“I wouldn’t say common, but well established, yes. Isn’t it on Earth?”

“I’m not entirely sure to be honest. I think it’s considered a subculture. Something people aren’t overly open about.”

“I see. I’m sorry if I overwhelmed you. We can just as well discuss it together, if you prefer.”

“Yeah, well…you see, talking about my needs isn’t…really my forte, I’m afraid.”

Loki chuckled.

“You love talking about yourself, Stark.”

“Yeah, well, that’s… different.”

“I know. Just yanking your chain.”

Tony couldn’t believe his ears.

“Did I misuse the expression?”

“No! It was spot on! _And_ it could be considered a pun!”

Loki looked very pleased with himself. It made Tony chuckle in return. If he wasn’t very, very careful, he might start liking this guy.

Loki leaned back in his seat.

“You’re not used to writing by hand are you?”

Tony considered that for a moment. Then he shook his head.

“No, I guess I use either a tablet or my phone or a desktop computer for pretty much everything. Or just yell at Jarvis. Why?”

“Would you be more comfortable using one of those devices for your list?”

For some reason that moved Tony. And still he shook his head again.

“I would like to do it… your way, I guess. The way you would like me to.”

Damn it. What the hell was going on here?

“You’re not doing this for me, Anthony. You’re doing it for yourself. To get to know yourself. Your needs. Your desires. Your boundaries.”

Again with the unexpected emotional response.

“Can I please do it by hand?”, Tony said, voice soft and so needy it turned his ears red.

Loki started to smile.

“Very well.” He nodded. “Do it by hand. You might as well do it in style then.”

He flicked his wrist, and something shimmered into existence and landed in his palm. When he finished the motion, he was holding a red and golden fountain pen out for Tony to take. Tony smiled.

“I don’t even remember when I last used one of those. It’s beautiful though.”

He took it from Loki and noticed it had his name engraved. The one nobody used. _Anthony._ He swallowed.

“Thank you, Loki. It’s really beautiful.”

“You’re very welcome. Let me know if you need help, or have questions. What you write down doesn’t have to be perfect, or final, or complete. Consider it the basis for negotiation.”

“Okay.” Tony swallowed again. “It might take me some time.”

“That’s fine. You’re a busy man.”

Tony knew what Loki was doing, and he was grateful for it. He nodded.

“I’d better get started on it then.”

“Very well. Have a pleasant night, Anthony.”

“Yeah. You too.”

Tony didn’t get a single line written down that night. He kept staring at the plain white writing pad in front of him, fiddling with the pen. Something was missing, off, wrong somehow… and all of a sudden he found himself browsing the internet for leather bound journals. A big goofy grin spread on his face when he found the perfect one and ordered it, express delivery.

Once the journal had been delivered, Tony ran his hands over the heavy leather. Dark green. So dark it could almost be mistaken for black. Vaguely Celtic looking patterns. And a hint of gold. It was perfect. He opened it. Tried to think of how to begin. And then he put one word on the first page: ”Subjugation.” It thrilled him. It felt right. Exciting and calming at the same time, and no, that didn’t make any sense, and he couldn’t have cared less. After that the words just flowed from Loki’s beautiful gift. Lists of ideas and wishes and needs and scenarios, some of which embarrassed Tony, but he forced himself to write them down regardless, and he couldn’t wait for Loki to see them. Some were more important than others. It would actually hurt if Loki said no to them. Others were merely vague ideas, and Tony wasn’t sure he really wanted them, wasn’t sure he’d even actually like them. He put question marks next to those, and exclamation marks to some of the others. And then he took a deep breath.

“Looks like I’m done,” he murmured to himself. He hesitated for a moment, but then he asked:

“Jarvis, is Loki still up?”

“Are you suggesting I spy on a guest, Sir?”

Tony sighed.

“Never mind.”

And he took his phone and sent Loki a text. (He’d been surprised to learn that Loki owned a smartphone. Very surprised.)

_Hey. You still up?_

It didn’t take more than two minutes until Loki replied:

_Yes._

_Can I come by for a moment?_

_Of course._

They talked for an hour. Then tea for Loki and coffee for Tony, and another hour of negotiations. Not only didn’t Loki say no to Tony’s most important bullet points, but he was actually more than happy about most of them. Tony couldn’t believe it.

“What about you? Don’t you have wishes? Wants? No-Gos?” Tony asked, a little sheepishly, when he realised it had all been about him so far.

Loki smiled at him.

“Of course I do. So far nothing has been incompatible with yours.”

“Can we…get started? Like, now?”

Something flashed in Loki’s eyes.

“As you wish. From the moment you tell me you’re ready I will no longer consider you an equal. You will do as I say until I’m done with you, or until you decide to safeword. Do you accept?”

“I do. I’m ready.”

And Loki’s whole posture changed.

“Tea. Once it’s served you will not speak nor move until I call for you. No eye contact unless I say so.”

Tony swallowed and stood.

“Yes, sir,” he murmured, and went over to the kitchen sink to make tea for Loki. He cursed himself for not paying attention when Loki had done it earlier, and he was actually nervous when he served it. Standing with his hands behind his back he waited, holding his breath. Loki took a sip.

“Unacceptable. Again.”

How could that hurt so much?

He tried again. And failed again. Loki never said anything other than “again,” and Tony didn’t dare to ask what his mistake had been. He wrecked his brain, desperately trying to find the memory of Loki making tea somewhere in the back of his mind, but it wasn’t there. And to his utter dismay he felt tears pool and his throat get tight. He _had_ to get this right. It was Loki’s first order and already he was screwing up. When he failed once more he whispered:

“Please talk to me, Loki. Please tell me what I’m doing wrong.”

Loki pushed his chair back and stood.

“I don’t remember giving you permission to speak. Surely you will agree with me that you need to be punished.”

Not a question. Tony hung his head, not even daring to say “Yes, sir.”

“Brace yourself against the wall.”

Tony swallowed again, and obeyed. And then there was the unmistakable sound of a belt being opened and slid out of belt loops. Tony tensed up. Yes. Spanking had been on his list. But he’d never actually gotten one, and the man he was playing with wasn’t human. Maybe this had been a bad idea… one word. One word would be all it would take _not_ to be spanked, and Tony was oh so tempted. But then he clenched his teeth and waited for the pain to start.

“Why do you deserve punishment, Anthony?”

“Because I spoke without permission, sir.”

Delicious embarrassment.

“How many words did you say?”

What? Erm. Tony tried to remember his phrasing.

“How”, the belt came down on his ass, “many?”, again.

It wasn’t all that painful since he was wearing jeans.

“Twelve, sir!”

“Good. What number on the pain scale were the hits I just gave you?”

“Two, maybe, sir.”

“Good. Your punishment will be twelve hits of the same intensity. Are you ready?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Ask for it.”

Oh wow. Tony’s heart beat sped up.

“Please punish me for speaking without permission, sir.”

Loki hummed approvingly.

“Very well. You will count and thank me.”

“Yes, sir.”

Hit.

“One. Thank you, sir.”

Hit.

“Two. Thank you, sir.”

The hits came slow and steady, giving Tony time to react. They were all delivered with the same strength, but every single one _felt_ more intense than the one before. It hurt. And Tony was flooded with contradicting emotions too complex to untangle. At “seven” Loki paused.

“Relax, Anthony. You can take this. Easily. It’s not an overly harsh punishment. Give me a colour.”

“Green, sir.”

“Good.”

After that the hits came a little faster. Tony got to “ten” before he let out a little whimper. Loki paused again.

“I can’t hear you thank me.”

“I’m sorry! Thank you sir!”

“Hm. Where were we?”

“Ten, sir.”

Loki grabbed Tony’s cheek and rubbed it.

“Too bad you needed to be reminded.”

“I’m sorry, sir!”

“I know. I will give you a chance to do better. Again. From the beginning.”

Tony let out a sound that was half whimper, half sob, and then he whispered:

“Yes, sir. Thank you for giving me a second chance.”

Loki’s hum was almost a growl. He unceremoniously started spanking Tony again, and this time there was no mistake. Tony just took it, responding flawlessly. After the twelfth hit Loki put his belt back on.

“Thank you for punishing me, sir,” Tony whispered, trembling slightly. Loki ran his hands over Tony’s cheeks.

“Such a good boy,” he purred. “Now where were we? Right. You were trying to make a cup of tea I could actually drink.”

And Tony’s knees buckled.

“Yellow!”

Loki took a breath.

“Yes?”

“Please give me instructions, Loki. I know I should have paid attention but I didn’t, and now I have no idea what I’m doing wrong.”

“Why weren’t you paying attention?”

Tony tried to remember.

“I think I was going over my list. I’m not sure.”

“What could you have done differently?”

“I could have put the journal down and watched you from where I was sitting, or even have joined you.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because I didn’t think it was important at the time.”

“So you don’t care how I like my tea?”

“I… I guess I didn’t. I’m sorry.”

“You take two sugars in your coffee, no milk.”

Tony blushed.

“I’m so sorry, Loki.”

“How does it make you feel that I know that?”

“It feels… nice! Like you care about me. Like you’re making an effort. And I feel like an ass because I didn’t bother to make the same effort. I’m sorry.”

“Yes. We established that. I will show you. Once. I expect you to remember.”

“Yes, sir.”

From then on the first thing Loki said whenever Tony came to him was “Tea,” and he never failed to let Tony know how much he enjoyed the cup Tony offered him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you like it :-)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short one, next one is finished though

And then one afternoon Tony just came by. Went to Loki’s apartment just to chat. Hang out. It felt…weird, in a way, but also kind of nice? Loki seemed very surprised at first, trying to get Tony to say what he wanted, what he _needed_ , but eventually he reluctantly accepted the fact that apparently, Tony Stark simply enjoyed his company. So he started to relax. They had a few drinks. Ordered pizza. Talked. Tony even got him to eat the pizza without using silverware.

“It doesn’t taste any different if being eaten this way, which by the way had been a very unlikely and wildly… _wild_ thesis to begin with,” Loki said around a mouthful. 

Tony burst out laughing.

“Wildly w _ild_? How very _eloquent_ , my Lord Loki, Prince of Asgard. Methinks Midgard’s juice of the grape hath gone to thine head, my Grace!”

Loki stared at him.

“That’s… not half as funny as you think it should be. No wait. Half as funny as you thought it were.” He huffed out a sigh. “Fine. I _am_ drunk. Congratulations.”

Tony giggled. He fucking _giggled_. Loki on the other hand turned very serious, and very still.

“I do like that title, Anthony.”

Tony wrecked his brain. Which… oh. Oh! He swallowed.

“You like being called your grace?”

“Yes.”

Freaking regal. How had the guy sobered up that fast? Probably magic. Tony pulled himself together.

“Would you like me to address you that way, your grace?”

“Yes.”

What the fuck…how did he _do_ that? One word? Really?

“Yes, sir,” Tony murmured, eyes down, and damn it that felt good. It felt right.

“Another drink, Anthony.”

“Yes, your grace.”

“None for you. You need to sober up.”

“And you don’t?”

Loki just raised one eyebrow, and it was more than enough to let Tony know how deep exactly the shit was that he was currently located in.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get...let's say less than ideal.

They hadn’t seen each other in a while. Things had been wild, Tony had been busy, and then he suddenly realised how long it had been and decided to pay Loki another visit. He even took a bottle of that wine Loki had liked so much last time. When he happily bounced into Loki’s quarters the trickster was standing with his back to the door, looking out over the city. He didn’t turn to greet Tony. Huh?

“Where were you?”

When Loki finally did turn his face was a mask. Unreadable. Tony frowned.

“What do you mean? Where was I when?”

No change in Loki’s stare.

“Did you forget, or did you remember but couldn’t be bothered to care? Think about your answer thoroughly, Anthony, because it will determine the type of your punishment.”

Voice cold. Controlled. Tony still wasn’t able to read Loki. And then the penny dropped, and he went pale.

“Oh my god Loki I’m sorry!”

No reaction.

“We had a date! I was immersed in work and didn’t stop until it was dawn and then I collapsed on my work bench and Jarvis sent me to bed and that’s where I’ve been until 5 minutes ago!”

“So you forgot.”

“No! I mean, yes, kind of, but I do have a life, you know?”

Loki stepped closer, and all of a sudden he looked even taller than he was.

“Do you agree that you made a mistake, Anthony?”

“Well, yes. Yes, sir, I did. I’m very sorry.”

Damn that tone of voice and what it did to Tony. Loki pointed to the far corner of the room.

“You will kneel in the corner, facing the walls, until I think you have learned your lesson. Dismissed.”

What? But… Tony swallowed.

“Okay…”

And Loki hit him. Not very hard, it barely stung, but Tony’s cheek burned in anger and shame more than actual pain.

“That’s not the way to confirm my orders. Do not anger me any further, slave.” A growl more than anything. Hell the man was angry under that mask! Tony dropped to his knees right where he was.

“I’m sorry, sir. I’m sorry for being disrespectful. May I please carry out your order, sir?”

“Yes. Dismissed.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

Text book submissive. Tony didn’t dare getting to his feet so he crawled to the corner and took the position. Not sure what to do with his hands he gripped his wrist behind his back. No reaction from Loki. The room was so eerily quiet that Tony was tempted to turn, to check if Loki was even still there. But he didn’t. He prepared to be very, very bored. Corner time was a horrible punishment – which, obviously, was the point – because his overactive brain took forever to calm down, if it did at all, with nothing to do and nothing to look at but a blank wall. And then it dawned on him that Loki had given him a task. _You will kneel in the corner until I think you have learned your lesson._ He panicked for a moment. What was the lesson here? Don’t forget play dates? Really? So petty! Loki _knew_ what his life was like. His work. Did he honestly expect him to drop everything and… deep breaths. Getting worked up during his punishment could only lead to more trouble. If Loki was to address him in that moment…Tony could picture it. He’d stand close, maybe touch his shoulders or back. Ask him if he learned his lesson. And Tony would… what? Anger started to rise in his chest. He would probably explode in Loki’s face. This wasn’t fair. He took a breath and stood. He so did not want to be on his knees any longer. Turning to face the room he found Loki exactly where he’d been. Still. Calm. Unreadable. And then the trickster raised his chin.

“I do not remember allowing you to stand.”

“Fuck you, Loki.”

Tony stepped closer. Loki stood tall. They stared at each other.

“What, are you going to hit me again? Because I didn’t _obey_?”

He spat the last word.

“Sounds kinda abusive to me, don’t ya think?”

“I punished you for making a mistake, which you had admitted making, and then for being disrespectful. I was well within my rights, and would still be, if I slapped you again.”

“Fine! Red! Is that what you want? To push me to _safeword_?!”

Loki’s shoulders sagged a little.

“Why are you this angry, Anthony?”

“I don’t know, you tell me? Oh, maybe it’s because my _Dom_ acts like a jealous boyfriend instead of supporting my career? Maybe because it always ends up being _my_ fault when something goes wrong? Maybe –“

And the fight left him when he saw the look in Loki’s eyes. Had that happened when he’d spat his title like an insult? Or at ‘boyfriend’? Or at the admittedly very childish generalisation of ‘always’? What _were_ they even fighting about? Tony took a step back and ran a hand through his hair.

“Look, that’s the way my life works. It’s what I do. I love my work. I’m good at it. It defines me. Can’t you understand that?”

Loki closed his eyes for a moment.

“You are missing the point by a mile, Anthony. I adore your work. The mind it springs from. I will always support it, and you. This has nothing to do with me trying to change you.”

“Then what is it about?”

Loki raised his eyebrow.

“Let me phrase it like this: what would you normally do if you had an important appointment that you can’t miss?”

“Set a timer. Have Jarvis remind me.”

And now it was Tony’s turn to close his eyes with a sigh.

“I’m sorry, Loki. I don’t know why I-“ He straightened. “Actually that’s not true. I do know why I didn’t set a timer.”

Loki’s jaw clenched.

“Because when we made that date I was so excited about it, so eager, that I thought there was no way in hell I could forget.”

It got him a small smile from Loki. For the first time that evening. And then the smile fell.

“So what changed?”

“Nothing changed. My brain happened. The way it does sometimes. I had an idea. I needed to work on it. The world around me just doesn’t exist when that happens. Food, sleep, water - don’t exist. People don’t exist. I’m sorry, Loki. I should just have set that stupid timer.”

“I see,” Loki said, relaxing a little. “You’re saying it wasn’t personal.”

“It wasn’t! Oh my god no it wasn’t.”

“Maybe we should take a seat.”

They did, on the couch, not touching, but their bodies turned towards each other.

“Why didn’t you remind me?” Tony asked. “And I don’t mean that as an accusation,” he added quickly. Loki didn’t say anything for a long time. Staring at the floor he finally said:

“It hurt. I don’t enjoy being hurt. Not like that. Not by somebody I care about.”

Oh. My. God. This wasn’t about Loki always having to be in control. This was Loki at his most vulnerable. Saying something Tony was reasonably sure he had _never_ said before. Or not for a long time, at least. Tony’s throat went dry.

“I’m sorry, Loki,” he whispered. “I never meant to hurt you. It had nothing to do with the way I feel about you. Or how much you mean to me. I’m an idiot, and it will never happen again. It had _nothing_ to do with you. Or this.”

He gestured to the both of them and the room in general. And then he said the most terrifying thing he had ever said to Loki:

“Can I hug you?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so incredibly sorry for leaving you hanging, I swear that wasn't the plan. In case you need a reminder... (Please imagine this in RDJ's voice):  
> "Previously on 'Subjugation':"
> 
> “It hurt. I don’t enjoy being hurt. Not like that. Not by somebody I care about.”  
> Oh. My. God. This wasn’t about Loki always having to be in control. This was Loki at his most vulnerable. Saying something Tony was reasonably sure he had never said before. Or not for a long time, at least. Tony’s throat went dry.  
> “I’m sorry, Loki,” he whispered. “I never meant to hurt you. It had nothing to do with the way I feel about you. Or how much you mean to me. I’m an idiot, and it will never happen again. It had nothing to do with you. Or this.”  
> He gestured to the both of them and the room in general. And then he said the most terrifying thing he had ever said to Loki:  
> “Can I hug you?”

Loki said nothing for a millennium. Was he even breathing? He certainly wasn’t moving. Tony felt so incredibly stupid. How could he…in what world was that the right thing…

“Yes.” So low and broken that it must have been Tony’s imagination. “Yes please.”

Oh my god. Not his imagination then! Why the hell were there tears in Tony’s eyes? He didn’t bother wiping them away. He just moved a little closer and opened his arms.

“Come here. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

And Loki actually let Tony hug him. An actual, real, honest to god embrace that lasted for a few heartbeats, and then, when Tony prepared to let go, Loki _relaxed_ into it and hugged him back! Tony thought he might have blacked out for a moment or two when Loki finally did start to let go.

“Thank you Anthony. I needed that.”

What…the actual…

“Who are you and what have you done to Loki?” Tony blurted out, unable to process what was going on. Loki chuckled, fully in control again, his back straight, his chin up.

“I assure you I am who you think I am, Anthony. And I accept your apology.”

“You…I mean…okay? I mean, good!”

Another one of those darn little chuckles.

“How would you like it if we made a new play date?”

So they did. Tony put it in his phone right there and then, synchronising the phone with every single device he owned, and sending a memo to Jarvis, asking the AI to remind him 30 minutes in advance. No way in hell was Tony going to forget that date again.

* * *

Tony was nervous when he entered Loki's quarters. Very, very nervous. He tried to make small talk, but it wouldn't really work. His hands were restless, but there was nothing to do with them. Eventually he burst out:

“So, shouldn’t I be on my knees?”

Loki looked at him with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Kneeling at my feet is a privilege. It must be earned.”

“But I already did. Kneel, I mean.”

“Back then I allowed it because you needed it. Because it was one of the only two things you were ready to express. From now on it will be a reward.”

Tony was hit by a wave of sadness. How…

“Unless you are in such need that it would be cruel to withhold it from you,” Loki went on.

Tony couldn’t believe it.

“How do you do this? Are you using magic to read me? Even though I specifically asked you—”

“No. I could. It would make things a lot easier for both of us. But you were very clear on the subject. So I have to rely on reading your body language. Most of the time I think I could tell you quite specifically what you are feeling. That’s not helpful though.”

“I would _hate_ that.”

Loki chuckled.

“Exactly. Which is why you will learn to express what you are feeling. Or at least what you need.”

“That’s… scary.”

“Very good.”

The answer didn’t make much sense for a moment, and then…

“You bastard.”

“Language, Anthony. That’s not a form of address I am willing to tolerate.”

“I’m… sorry. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful.”

Loki raised an eyebrow.

“Sir,” Tony added, head bowed.

“Put it in your journal. Right now. We will deal with it later.”

“Yes, sir.”

Tony thought his ears were about to go up in flame as Loki made him get his journal and pen and write down the fact that he had insulted him. When he looked at the entry, in his best handwriting, he felt the need to apologise again.

“I’m really sorry,” he said once more. “It was just an expression. What I meant to say is that it surprised me how effortlessly you get me to improve, to learn. I realise it was a bad choice of words, but it wasn’t meant as an insult. Quite the opposite, actually.”

He didn’t dare look at Loki. Holding his breath he waited for a reaction, an answer, anything. Why was this so important?

“Apology accepted, Anthony. Tick it off. I will not punish you for it.”

Tony’s relief was like a physical sensation. What was it with Loki, with this whole game, that made every emotion so much bigger, rawer, more intense? 

“So. You won’t get to kneel tonight. You,” Loki stepped behind him and took Tony’s wrists, “will stand up perfectly straight.“

Tony closed his eyes.

“Breath, Anthony. Do you remember your safewords?”

“Yes, Sir. I do.”

“Good. Let me know if the rope hurts you or you feel a tingling sensation anywhere. This is supposed to be fun. Enjoy it.”

Bondage for comfort. It still felt like a surreal concept even though rope bondage had been high on Tony’s list. But he’d always imagined it to be painful, or humiliating. Punishment rather than something you enjoy.

“Are you alright?” Loki asked, and Tony came back to the here and now. Huh. His arms were securely tied behind his back. Not just wrists tied together. He could barely wiggle his fingers. When had that happened? Loki stood in front of him and looked him straight in the eyes.

“I believe you drifted off for a moment,” he said with a smile that could only be described as satisfied. “Colour?”

“Green,” Tony said, a little surprised. “This feels amazing! How long…”

Loki checked the clock on the wall.

“About 25 minutes since I started on your wrists.”

“What? That’s not…where did that time go?”

Loki put both hands on Tony’s shoulders.

“Looks like you spent most of it in sub space.”

“From nothing but being tied up?”

Loki’s smile was definitely satisfied. More of a smirk, actually. He shrugged.

“If done right…”

“So what now?” Tony asked.

“Depends. Do you think you can stay like this for a little longer?”

“Are you kidding me? I feel amazing! This…is amazing!”

“Good.”

Loki took a step back.

“So you will stand there and watch me have dinner. Maybe a nice drink.”

Tony gritted his teeth.

“Yes, your grace.”

Tony lasted ten minutes before his stomach started to growl. Loki ignored it at first, but when it happened again he put down his napkin.

“When was the last time you ate, Anthony?”

“I…had coffee…this morning, I guess?”

Loki sighed.

“Unacceptable. Sit.”

Tony bit his lip, but he moved forward.

“Yes, sir.”

He sat down at Loki’s dinner table, his arms still securely bound. Loki disappeared in the kitchen and came back two minutes later with a second plate.

“You planned for this?”

“I know you.”

That…felt nice.

“Well…there might be a slight problem here…”

“Is there?”

“Duh? I’m tied up?”

“Your mouth works perfectly fine, does it not?”

“I am _not_ going to let you feed me.”

“Oh? Okay then.”

And Loki went back to his own plate, sipping his drink every now and then, completely ignoring Tony. The food did smell delicious damn it… Tony licked his lips. Swallowed. Licked his lips again. Oh to hell with it.

“Please, your grace, may I have a little food?”

“You’re tied up.”

Damn the bastard.

“Yes sir. I was hoping you would…feed me, sir.”

Tony blushed so hard he could feel the heat radiate from his cheeks.

“That’s an excellent idea, Anthony. I wonder why we didn’t do that when the food was still warm.”

“It doesn’t matter, sir. Please? I’m so hungry, and it smells so good.”

Loki hummed and gave him a smile. He made a complicated gesture with one hand, and the food on Tony’s plate started steaming as if it had been freshly cooked.

“Did you just…magically microwave my food?!”

Loki burst out laughing.

“A little more respect for the ancient art of sorcery, Mister Stark. But yes. I suppose you could call it that.”

And then Loki of Asgard fed Tony a complete meal, and it was delicious. Tony felt pampered and humiliated at the same time, and that mix, together with the warm food filling his hungry stomach, made him very, very tired. Loki noticed and started to untie him.

“I don’t want it to end,” Tony mumbled, but when Loki rubbed Tony’s wrists and arms, Tony realised they had indeed gone a little numb. His shoulders were unamused, too. 

“I’m tired, Loki,” he said without thinking.

Loki rested his hands on Tony’s shoulders.

“I understand. Maybe you should get some rest. It’s been a long day.”

“Are you irritated with me?”

Loki sat back down and let out a breath.

“Look at me, Anthony.”

Tony met his eyes.

“Do I look like I’m irritated with you for being tired? For needing to rest?”

No. No, he didn’t. There was the same quiet strength in the trickster’s smile that was always there when they were… playing. The same gentle note in his voice that seemed to appear whenever Tony needed reassurance. Gratitude flooded Tony, the need to express how much Loki’s patience and attention meant to him. It frustrated him to no end that he didn’t know how to show it.

“I would very much like a cup of tea before you leave though,” Loki said, and Tony was _sure_ the bastard was reading his mind. _Loki_ was reading his mind, he corrected himself, just in case.

Tony had declined a drink but insisted on keeping Loki company. Out of the blue Loki said, staring into his cup:

“When you grow up as my father’s son the one thing you cannot tolerate being called is a bastard.”

Wait what? Oh!

“Oh my god Loki I didn’t even—"

“I know it’s used differently here. You just…hit a sore spot, so to say.”

“I get that, and I apologise once more. But… I mean… you _know_ who you are, right? Odin’s son, a rightful prince and all? Just like Thor? Why would anyone calling you that actually sting?”

Loki rolled his shoulders.

“Maybe we should call it a night. We’re both tired.”

“Whoa hang on. I need to be all open and touchy-feely, but when it comes to y _ou…”_

“That’s different.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Very convincing.”

Loki let out an exasperated sigh.

“Because there is a dynamic to uphold, Anthony.” 

_I am a very lonely man_ , Tony heard him say in his head, and it hurt just as much as the first time. No, it hurt even more. Because by now Tony had seen the best of Loki. Because Loki had been giving and giving, endlessly patient and always in control. He didn’t deserve to be lonely, damn it. He deserved to let go, for once, and not just for a minute like when he’d let Tony hug him that one time. And all of a sudden Tony was more nervous than he’d ever been around Loki.

“We’re not in scene any more, right? So no dynamics to worry about. You can tell me.”

Loki’s face closed off, and that hurt like a bitch. Tony just _knew_ he wouldn’t get through to him, no matter how hard he tried. Loki would just fall stubbornly silent and eventually lose his shit if pushed too hard.

“Fine,” Tony said, angry beyond measure all of a sudden, and stood. It was the hard, quiet kind of anger that comes from frustration and helplessness – and from rejection. Leaving Loki’s quarters like that was physically painful. And yet Tony owed it to his pride to leave. Loki didn't want to talk? Fine. If all this was to Loki was a little kinky fun, then Tony had served his purpose for the night. And there was no reason to stay any longer.

"Let me know when you feel like using me again."

It sounded wrong even in Tony's own ears, but he'd be damned if he'd admit that. He cursed his interior designer for talking him into sliding doors. He would have given a fortune for a proper door he could slam right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. I'm a monster.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They figure it out. Eventually.

Loki stared at the doors that had just closed behind Anthony with that horribly civilised little swooshing sound they always made. It felt wrong. He could _feel_ Anthony’s anger, his hurt pride, his confusion. Anthony Stark, Ironman, Howardson, had left the playing field furious, and rightly so. And Loki closed his eyes in pain when he realised there was nothing he could do about that.

Unbidden, an image of his father – no, of Odin Borson – appeared before his mind’s eye. And, even worse, Frigga was there, too. Loki didn’t want to hear what they had to tell him, even though – no, _because_ he knew they were right. There _was_ something he could do. All he had to decide was whether or not Anthony’s trust and – friendship were worth the price.

Tony had fled to his workshop. It made absolutely no sense because no way in hell would he be able to focus on anything right now, but it was the space he felt most comfortable in. Safe. In control. He was basically staring at nothing when all of a sudden something appeared on his work bench. A plain white envelope with his name on it. He didn’t need to check the handwriting. He knew exactly one person who could make objects appear from thin air. 

What could this possibly be? An apology? Yeah right. Loki of Asgard apologising for – well, what, exactly? Choosing not to talk about something that clearly made him uncomfortable? Tony felt like a dick all of a sudden, and he opened the envelope a little too hastily. 

_Dear Anthony,_

_I was raised at court, and I have enough knowledge of diplomacy to understand that a worthy man's trust and allegiance come at a price. You named yours, and I hereby accept. The information you asked me to disclose is shameful to me, but if it wins me the right to consider you my friend I am willing to do so. I am deeply sorry to have upset you. I dare hope that by obliging with your request I may regain your good graces._

_The matter I avoided discussing with you concerns…_

Tony stopped reading and dropped the sheet of paper onto his work bench, followed by his forehead.

“You’re an idiot,” he murmured. “You’re the smartest person I know but you’re an idiot, Loki.”

He stood, folded Loki’s letter, put it in his back pocket and left the workshop.

“You're an idiot,” Tony said by way of greeting as soon as he entered Loki’s quarters.

“Excuse me?”

Tony held the folded letter out for Loki to take it back.

“I didn't read it. Well, I stopped reading in the middle of it.”

“Oh.”

Loki took it from him, his face unreadable, and then he squared his shoulders.

“I appreciate you informing me personally.”

“Huh? Inform you of what?”

“That you consider our negotiations failed.”

Tony huffed out a sigh.

“For fuck’s sake Loki we're not negotiating some intergalactic peace treaty here!”

“I am aware.”

Tony ran a hand through his hair.

“Can I get a drink, please?”

It took Loki a moment to react. But then he nodded.

“Of course.”

Tony turned the glass in his hands, trying to find the right words.

“Why are you here?” Loki asked him eventually, his tone betraying nothing.

“Because I was an idiot.”

“Well that works out nicely then. Since apparently so am I.”

Tony raised his eyebrows, and then he chuckled.

“Yeah. Right. Listen, I didn’t read what the big secret is because you are clearly not happy with me knowing. And you have every right to make that decision. It’s true, I was angry because you wouldn’t open up to me. But that’s not a condition for my friendship. Actually it works the other way ‘round, I think.”

“I’m… not sure I’m following.”

“Well, if we are, or become, at some point, real friends, if and when you start trusting me, then maybe one day you _want_ me to know. And if not, that’s your decision. I’m sorry for the drama, Lokes.”

Loki was silent for a long time. Finally he said:

“It’s not even a real secret. It’s just that I don’t think _you_ know, and I thought I’d prefer it to stay that way. But now I’m not so sure.”

“Whatever floats your boat. Tell me now or tell me some other time or never tell me at all. It won’t change anything.”

Another long pause, and then:

“You said ‘if we become friends’… I… I was hoping we were?”

It was heartbreakingly sweet, a statement that was actually a question, completely out of character, and it made Tony smile. The guy really had no experience whatsoever as far as simple friendships were concerned. Alliances and negotiations, yes. Blackmail and bribery, probably. Threats, most definitely. But an actual honest to god friendship – obviously not.

“Yes, Lokes. We are. As far as I’m concerned, you’re my friend, and I would be more than happy if that was a mutual thing. I like you, I trust you, and what you’ve done for me so far was amazing. I really want that to go on. Okay?”

Loki started to smile as well.

“Okay. I mean yes, it is a mutual thing.”

He finally poured himself a drink, too.

“And I do think I want to tell you. The rest of the Avengers know, I believe, and they don’t seem to care all that much…”

“But you do.”

“Yes.”

Loki cleared his throat.

“I… am not an Odinson. He’s not my father. Thor and I are not related by blood. Not even my mother – the woman I grew up calling mother isn’t my mother, either.”

Oh my god. I called him a bastard and _that_ is the story of his life??? It was almost physically painful to imagine. Tony closed his eyes for a moment.

“I… oh my god Loki I’m so sorry. When… I mean, you didn’t know, for a long time, did you?”

Loki drew a deep breath.

“No. I only found out a little while ago.”

“So, who are your real – I mean, your birth parents?”

“Don’t ask.”

Tony just cocked an eyebrow. It actually made Loki chuckle.

“Seriously, it’s… I believe you would call it fucked up. Basically I tried all my life to win my adoptive father’s approval, but…”

Tony started to smile, then grin, then laugh. It was bordering on hysterical, but it was a laugh.

“What?”

“You know, the man I grew up with _was_ my biological father, but I failed just as bad at that.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah.”

Loki downed his drink and set the empty glass back down, carefully, almost gently.

“I’m sorry, Anthony.”

“Yeah, me too.”

They sat in silence for a while, and then Tony cleared his throat.

“So, are we… do you still want to play? I mean, not necessarily right now, but…”

“Yes. I do.”

Firm. Decisive. Three words in what was clearly Loki’s playroom voice. Tony was glad he was sitting down, because his knees always did a thing when Loki used that voice on him.

“Would you… I mean, if you would like to play right now, I wouldn’t… you know… be opposed.”

Loki looked squarely into Tony’s eyes.

“If you have a request to make, make it, Anthony.”

Tony swallowed, and then he stood, hands behind his back, eyes down.

“I would like to do a scene with you, your grace, if you feel like it.”

Loki let out a low, please little sound that finally did the thing to Tony’s knees.

“Anything in particular?”

“No, sir. Whatever you are willing to give me, sir.”

“Well as a matter of fact,” Loki said, pushing his chair back and standing, “there is something I’ve been wanting to do to you for a while.”

Tony was kneeling, his chest on a chair, his wrists cuffed to the chair’s legs. When Loki entered his line of sight and Tony laid eyes on the paddle in his hand, he flinched. Loki stood behind him and ran the paddle over Tony’s back, butt and thighs.

“Ideally you would be naked for the spanking you are going to receive, but it’s not absolutely necessary,” he said, matter-of-factly.

“I… would prefer not to, please, sir.”

“I know. It’s fine. I can still make it hurt.”

And he did. Holy fucking shit that thing hurt. In the beginning Tony tried to imagine being naked, being spanked on bare skin, but he gave that thought up pretty fast. Breathe. He was trying to breathe, not to make too much noise, not to let Loki hear how much exactly it hurt. Or how good that pain was. And then, all of a sudden, it was too much. The pain and the situation as a whole and why the fuck was this so good?

“Please Loki!”

Loki paused.

“Please what?”

“I can’t take any more, please.”

“Are you safewording?”

Everything in Tony’s mind and soul cramped up. Nonononono.

“Anthony?”

“No,” Tony growled. “I’m not.”

So the paddle came down again. Tony cried out in pain.

“Please Loki please.”

Loki paused again, patient, expectant.

“Please for fuck’s sake just tell me what you want.”

“No.”

Hit.

“What the fuck do you want to hear? That you’re smarter than me? Stronger? More powerful?”

“All true. But not the point.”

Hit.

“Then what?! What do I have to do?”

Hit.

“I’m confident you will work it out.”

“Fucking bastard! What’s on your perverted mind, damn it? Want me on your fucking cock? Is that it?”

“Tempting. But no.”

Hit.

And then, all of a sudden, there it was. An image in Tony’s mind so crystal clear it might have been on an HD screen. No way.

Loki paused, stilled, dropped the paddle.

“Yes.”

Just one word. What on earth…

“Yes? Yes what?” Tony demanded, furious, still fighting tears, pain and confusion and humiliation and downright despair clawing at his heart.

“Whatever it was that just happened, Anthony. That’s the answer.”

“How do you… are you fucking with my mind?”

“No. You told me not to use magic. So I don’t.”

“Then how do you…”

“Shhh. So beside the point, Anthony. I will answer any questions you might have. Later. Stop thinking. Feel.”

I _am_ feeling, Tony wanted to say, I am feeling a brutal mixture of things I do not want to feel and am scared to feel and would very much like not to feel, but he realised if he said that there would be no stopping the tears.

“Good boy,” Loki whispered. What? He hadn’t…

“I didn’t do anything,” Tony started to say.

Another blow, harder than any before. Tony screamed out:

“Fuck you, you sick son of a bitch, fuck you and your cruelty, fuck your mind games and your lies and your…”

Tears. Damn it to fucking hell he was crying. There it was again, his imaginary HD footage yelling at him what to do, what to say, but how could he… possibly… ever…

”Please,” was all he could say, low and broken and so, so raw .

“Please what?” Loki said, gentle and sweet despite everything Tony had just thrown at him.

“Please read my mind,” Tony said between two torn breaths.

Loki chuckled softly.

“I wish it was that easy, Anthony. I’m afraid you will have to talk to me.”

Tony felt so incredibly tired all of a sudden, bone deep exhaustion, resignation, despair. He just didn’t have it in him _not_ to say it.

“Hold me, please.”

There. He’d said it. He knew what was going to happen. What had he been thinking. How could he be that stupid, a man of his intelligence, his—

Loki dropped to his knees, opened the cuffs and pulled him close. Held him like that for a moment until Tony started breathing again, and then he lowered himself to the floor and pulled Tony with him, arms wrapped tightly around Tony’s shaking form – when had he started shaking? – silver voice murmuring the same soothing words over and over until Tony’s muscles finally got the message and began to relax, bit by bit, tears running freely.

“I’m sorry,” Tony tried to say between sobs but it wouldn’t come out, and when it did it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t the right thing to say, it—

“Anthony,” Loki said. And everything stopped. Tony could hear his heart beat in the silence of Loki’s quarters, he could hear his own desperate fight for air.

“Please don’t let go,” Tony whispered, and there was a soft smile in Loki’s voice when he said:

“I won’t. Not until you ask me to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that? Fluff??? OMG! How did that happen??


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's one thing they haven't tried, and there's a reason for that.

They tried everything that was on Tony’s list: being blindfolded; being used as a footstool whilst Loki was reading; wearing humiliating clothes; Loki choosing Tony’s clothes became a thing; Loki ordering Tony to eat and hydrate and _relax_ became a thing. Tony even started wearing a day collar. It was the subtlest thing they could find, but it made him feel amazing. And then one day they were looking at Tony’s list and there was one thing left they had never tried. They’d talked about it a few times, but Tony had always shied away from it, and Loki had never pushed. Tony swallowed and very deliberately made eye contact.

“I want it.”

“Are you sure? It can be very powerful.”

“I guess it would be, yeah. I wanna know how it feels.”

Loki clenched and unclenched his jaw once.

“Fine then. Kneel.”

Tony did, eager, nervous, excited. Eyes on the floor, hands behind his back. Usually Loki praised him once Tony had taken position, but not today. It made Tony’s heart sink, but he was pretty sure it was part of the game. After all he was asking his Dom to humiliate him. So yeah. Probably part of the game, right?

Loki made him wait. It became harder and harder not to look up, not to make a connection. Why wasn’t Loki talking to him? Was Tony supposed to do something? Oh god had he missed a command? Was Loki upset?? Could he risk making eye contact?

“What are you?” Loki finally asked, and Tony was so relieved that he couldn’t even think about an answer.

Slap. _Ow!_

“Do not make me repeat myself,” Loki growled.

“I am your slave,” Tony whispered, both cheeks burning, not just the one Loki had slapped.

“Wrong,” Loki said, voice neutral, and took Tony’s day collar off.

 _What? No! That_ … not feeling the familiar weight around his neck any longer upset Tony more than being slapped. _Please…_

“Up.”

Tony obeyed without fully realising he was doing it, and in absolutely no time there were leather restraints on Tony’s wrists and ankles, fixing his body to the wall, spread eagled, open and exposed, unable to move.

“Look at me,” Loki ordered. “What are you?”

“I am your toy, sir,” Tony managed, voice shaky.

Loki laughed out loud – and spat in Tony's face.

 _Oh my god. How could that…feel…that_ – Tony was completely unable to process the mayhem of emotions rushing trough him, and before he could even try, Loki moved closer.

“What.”

He spat at him again.

“Are you?”

“I…” Tony was shaking, and he would have fallen if it hadn’t been for the restraints hooding him up. “I am…”

Loki did it again.

“Well?”

More spit. Running down Tony’s face and throat and into the collar of his shirt.

“Greedy. Ungrateful. Arrogant,” Loki hissed, each word punctuated by spitting right into Tony’s face again. “That’s what you are. I gave you my time, my attention, I made every little choice for you, the clothes you wear, whether or not you shave, what you eat, what you drink, when you sleep.”

He took a step back, gaze traveling up and down Tony’s shaking body.

“So what. The fuck. Are you?” he sneered.

“I am nothing, sir,” Tony said, voice completely flat, still staring right into Loki’s eyes as instructed. “I don’t exist when you don’t see me.”

“Finally,” Loki huffed out.

He untied Tony, making sure he didn’t fall.

“Sit.”

Tony lowered himself down on the floor, his eyes unfocused now, his shoulders rigid.

“Anthony.”

No reaction. Tony was taking shallow, unregular breaths. Loki knelt down and put both hands on Tony’s shoulders.

“Hey,” he said gently. “Come back.”

Still nothing. Summoning a wet cloth from thin air Loki started to clean up Tony’s face, talking to him in a low, soft voice. Nothing. Tony was still staring at nothing, passive, pliant. Broken.

“Anthony.”

Nothing. Loki vanished the cloth and gently shook Tony.

“Anthony! Look at me!”

That tone did it. Tony focused on Loki’s eyes.

“Come back, Anthony. Come out of it.”

“I... I can't... I'm ... please, sir, I...”

“Shut up.”

Tony stopped talking, but he looked utterly desperate.

“Smile!” Loki ordered.

Tony tried, but it wasn't convincing. At all.

“No, “ Loki said, his thumb tracing Tony’s cheekbone and then his lips. “A real smile that reaches your eyes.”

It took forever. Loki just waited, endlessly patient, holding Tony's gaze, and eventually the tension bled out of Tony's face and shoulders and his smile did turn into a real one. He took the deepest breath and let out a little chuckle, and then he closed his eyes.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“That was…”  
Loki finally started to relax, too.

“Intense,” Tony finished. “Yeah. As you said it would be. I do believe I will scratch spitting from the list.”

“That might be a wise decision.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone *cough jotunemo cough* thought Tony needed a little PUBLIC humilation... Loki agrees.

One morning the team were having breakfast together at the tower, and – quite unusual – Loki had joined them. Tony handed Loki his tea, the trickster accepting it with one of those elegant little nods that were almost a bow, when Tony realised they were all staring at him. Them. Crap.

Cap cleared his throat but didn’t say anything. Banner started grinning. Thor looked between Tony Stark and his adopted brother, made a suspicious little “huh” sound, and then his gaze settled on Loki. Waiting. Tony broke into sweat. 

“Well. As I was saying,” he tried to diffuse the situation, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember what he _had_ been saying. God damnit. Had he even been talking? Press conference. Right. There had been…Pepper had asked him to brief the team—

“As you were, quite incorrectly, saying, we all need to be present for the press gathering,” Loki came to the rescue, _thank the heavens!_ “I, personally, have no intention whatsoever to take part.”

“Because you have so many important things to do, right?” Natasha said, sipping her coffee.

“Exactly.”

And the rest of the conversation was kind of lost on Tony as he started zoning out. Oh my god. Did they know?

Tony made sure to stay behind as everyone was leaving – everyone but Loki, who seemed to sense that Tony needed something from him.

“Thank you, Lokes,” he said when they were alone.

“For what?”

“Saving my ass. Not blowing my cover. Our cover. Whatever.”

“I’m afraid my brother suspects. I’m not sure about the rest of them.”

Tony felt like was going to be sick. Loki moved closer, close enough for comfort, but not close enough to touch.

“Would that really be so bad, Anthony?”

“Yes!” When he saw the look on Loki’s face he started backpedaling. “I mean… I don’t even understand what… I’m not sure I want them to… make assumptions… I mean…”

Loki just looked at him.

“Are you ashamed of me?”

“What? No!”

“Are you ashamed of being submissive?”

“I… well, no, not really, I guess?”

“Are you ashamed of being _my_ submissive?”

And Tony started to smile.

“No. No, I’m not ashamed. I’m terrified of their reaction, but… no. Screw them.”

“Fine. Now that we have established that, I expect you to wear your collar to the press conference. And don’t even think about hiding it under your shirt or anything like that. I want it to be visible to anyone brave enough to ask you about it in public.”

Tony couldn’t breathe. Loki was looking at him, eyebrows raised, waiting for confirmation.

“What… if I say no?”

“You know what happens when you say no to me, Anthony,” Loki said, perfectly calm. “Consider carefully.”

Holy. Crap.

Thankfully, none of the assembled press _were_ brave enough to ask when Tony appeared at the conference, no tie, first three buttons open, Loki’s collar in plain sight – the Avengers however didn’t have any scruples. They all just leaned back in their chairs once the doors had closed behind Pepper and the last journalist, and looked at Tony. Initially he had been relieved that Loki was true to his word and didn’t show up – but now he wished he was there. A calm, reassuring presence at his side… or would it just make everything worse if he was there?

“So. Please explain to us the meaning of the… jewellery around your neck, Howardson.”

Damn it. A) Thor probably knew damn well what the collar meant, and b) being called Howardson made it somehow sound like… official Royal Family business. Crap crap crap. Now he _definitely_ wished Loki was there. And just like that, he was.

“Holy fuck Odinson can you _stop doing_ that?” Barton growled.

Natasha just raised one eyebrow. It spoke volumes about having important business. Cap crossed his arms. Banner played with a pen. Loki took a seat.

“Yes, please, Anthony, do explain.”

That. Loki using that name was what instantly made Tony weak in the knees, needy, vulnerable, emotional – submissive. He couldn’t do this.

“Please,” he said, locking eyes with Loki. ”Don’t make me.”

“Don’t make me – what?” Loki said, elegant gesture making it crystal clear what he meant.

“Please don’t make me, _sir_ ,” Tony growled between clenched teeth.

It got him a low purr from Loki that was masked by a gasp from the team.

“I am not sure I like your tone, but I appreciate you using my title.”

Loki got up and stood close enough to whisper to Tony:

“Colour?”

Tony swallowed. When he answered, his voice was low, but not exactly a whisper:

“Yellow, sir. I mean it, please don’t make me spell it out for them. I am willing to follow your rules in front of them though. Would that be good enough to spare me from being punished, your grace?”

Loki’s purr carried through the room this time.

“Acceptable, boy,” he said, deliberately loud enough for the team to hear. And Tony made sure his voice carried just as well when he said:

“Thank you, your grace.”

The elevator doors had just closed behind them when Tony asked:

“What exactly would you have done to me if I'd said no?”

Loki moved in.

“Let's just say you would have hosted a few team meetings standing up instead of sitting down.”

Tony swallowed.

“You know maybe I should do that anyway. Just because I can. Spank you to the point where you can't sit down anymore and have everyone wonder about it...”

A very undignified sound escaped Tony's throat. It made Loki chuckle.

“Noted,” he purred.

Tony closed his eyes and took a breath.

“And what would you have done if I really didn't want to do it?”

“If you had used your safeword?”

“Yes.”

“This.”

Loki closed the open buttons on Tony's shirt and straightened the shirt collar.

“I would personally have made sure that it would not have been visible beneath your shirt.”

Tony stared at him.

“That's... sweet. Thank you.”

“I will never make you do something you really don't want to do, Anthony. Especially not in public. You know that, right?”

Tony started to smile. Trust. Holy shit yes, he trusted Loki, and it felt good.

“Anthony?”

“Yes, sorry. I do. Sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Believe me, this is MUCH better than what *I* had in mind....


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the Anvengers know. Or don't they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jotunemo wanted to see the team's reaction, and since this is her story, her wish is my command. Hence, reaction video. Kind of.

“Jarvis, show me the footage of the team right after we left the press conference room.”

“I’m afraid you’re not authorised to make that request, Mr. Liesmith.”

Loki chuckled.

“Never mind, Jarvis. It was worth a try.”

Tony cleared his throat.

“It’s fine, Jarvis. Play the footage.”

“As you wish, sir.”

“Jarvis, pause,” Loki interrupted before the frozen image started moving.

“Sir?” Jarvis asked.

“Just a sec, Jarvis.”

“You don’t have to do this, Anthony,” Loki said, his voice low and intense. “Don’t watch. Or watch it without me. I wasn’t really serious.”

“What if I want to know? Actually I think I need to know. They are my team for fuck’s sake.”

“Yes but are you sure you want me present?”

Tony swallowed.

“Yes. This concerns you as well as it concerns me. And also I think I might… need you.” He blushed harder than he had ever done in scene. “You’re… very calming.”

Loki burst out laughing.

“I don’t think anybody has ever called me calming. Not in this realm nor any other.”

Tony refused to look at him.

“It’s true though. For me.”

When Loki didn’t react, Tony finally looked up. There was a look of such wonder on Loki’s face that Tony started to grin.

“Don’t let it get to your head, Reindeer Games.”

Loki held his gaze for another second, and then he shrugged.

“Fine. Roll camera.”

Tony gave Jarvis the command, and they watched the Avengers looking at each other.

_Clint put his feet up and crossed his arms._

_“So. Your brother is boinking Iron Man.”_

_Steve rolled his eyes but didn’t comment._

_Thor shook his head._

_“Not necessarily.”_

_Natasha snorted._

_“Oh please. Tony calls him ’sir’. And wears a freaking collar.”_

_“Which doesn’t necessarily mean they have a… well, intimate relationship,” Thor said, clearly uncomfortable._

_Bruce raised his eyebrows._

_“It doesn’t?”_

_“Well, if they play by the rules that are common on Asgard, no. it might only be about dominance and submission. Control.”_

_Clint’s boots hit the floor and he jumped up._

_“Am I the only on who has a problem with Tony being controlled by Loki?”_

_Thor stood, too._

_“I’m sure that’s not—”_

_“That’s not what he’s doing? Is or isn’t Loki capable of manipulating Tony?”_

_“Of course he is,” Thor said, as if it was the most obvious thing._

_“See?”_

_“Which doesn’t mean that he’s actually doing it.”_

_Natasha sat a little straighter._

_“Guys. Hey. Has anybody noticed a change in Tony lately? Strange behavior?”_

_They all looked at each other, and then at Bruce. He bit his lip and shrugged._

_“If anything, he seems more relaxed. More level-headed.”_

_Steve nodded, hesitantly, then confirmed:_

_“I haven’t seen any panic attacks or other symptoms lately…”_

_There was a pause, and then Steve said:_

_“The same is true for Loki, by the way. Making more of an effort to fit in with the team. Less pranks. More reliable.”_

_“He’s very different in the sparring ring. Less angry. More balanced,” Natasha added._

_There was another pause, and then Steve took a breath._

_“So, basically, what we are saying is that they are good for each other.”_

There wasn’t much on the tape after that, everybody filing out of the room, chatting about other things.

Loki cleared his throat.

“So, do you have any regrets?”

And Tony let out a breath he hadn’t been aware of holding.

“No,” he said with a smile. “Je ne regrette rien.”

Turning to Loki, he cast his eyes down for a moment.

“You were right, your grace. Please forgive me for doubting you.”

“Accepted. You were scared. I’m glad your friends took it so well.”

“They are _our_ friends, Lokes. Cap was right. You’re becoming more of team member, and I think that’s a good thing.”

“Barton doesn’t trust me.”

“Well… can we really blame him for that? The mind control thing—”

“Don’t,” Loki snapped. He drew a breath. “I’m sorry. You’re right. It will take more to win his trust than with the others, and yes, that’s understandable.”

“So…,” Tony drawled, “I recall something about being spanked…”

Immediately the look in Loki’s eyes changed.

“Do you now.”

“Mhm… I believe you threatened to make it impossible for me to sit down for a while.”

“That wasn’t a threat.” Loki moved in. “It was a promise.”

The next morning in the shower Tony realised how much exactly his backside hurt. Curious, he turned and twisted in front of the mirror to get a good look, and holy shit that was – colourful. He grinned and decided on a pair of pants a little less tight than usual. When he got to his workshop he very quickly decided to work standing up, not sitting down today. Grinning again he remembered Loki’s words. Yeah. Exactly.

Tony was in a surprisingly good mood all morning, and when his phone reminded him to take a break and get some food into himself – personally programmed by Loki – he decided to actually cook instead of ordering. Simply because he felt like it. It had nothing to do with the fact that a certain trickster god would be pleased about it. And then he had an idea.

When Tony knocked on Loki’s door with a tray full of food balanced on his hip he was nervous. The feeling just vanished when Loki opened the door, saw the food and smiled at him.   
“I thought you might like lunch, sir. I hope it’s to your satisfaction.”  
“Come in, Anthony. Put it on the table, then kneel.”

Loki ate a few bites, then sat back.  
“It’s very good, Anthony, thank you for cooking. Have you eaten yourself?”  
“No, sir, not yet. I was hoping you would share. It’s fine if you eat first, of course. I will gladly take what’s left.”  
Loki’s smile softened.  
“Get yourself a plate, Anthony.”

When Tony reappeared with a plate for himself, Loki grinned at him.  
“How's your backside by the way?”  
“I don't know, you tell me? Some say quite spectacular,” Tony replied without thinking, and then he froze. But Loki just chuckled.  
“I wouldn't know. You never let me see it.”  
Tony put his plate down and sat, very carefully. Ouch.   
“Lokes, I'm sorry. I shouldn't... I just... don't... feel that way about you.”  
There. He'd said it. He wasn’t looking at Loki though.

Loki was suspiciously quiet. When Tony eventually did look up, there was a puzzled expression on Loki's face.  
“Well. I don't 'feel that way' about you either.”  
Huh.  
“I thought...”  
“What? That I was secretly pining? I'm aware that you think you're irresistible. You're not.“  
Huh indeed.  
“I do appreciate your trust though, and your friendship. And I fully understand why you don’t want to be naked in scene.”  
“That’s… okay, good.”  
Loki started to grin again.  
“I think next time I will have you lay down, ass up. That way your backside can be bare and you will still have a minimum of privacy. It is so much more fun on bare skin…”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an intense chapter for the finale

The next time Tony showed up at Loki’s quarters he wasn’t ordered to lay down though, but to stand, eyes closed, hands behind his back. He could tell Loki was circling him, even though his boots barely made a sound. What the fuck? What did he have in mind?

“I don’t think this is right, Anthony.”

Huh?

“Being dressed as if you were a free man…”

Oh no. Not the lace panties again. Had they agreed on not doing that again? They had, right? RIGHT? Wait a minute, _free_ man?

Smack. Hard hit on his ass. Ow.

“You are not paying attention to me, Anthony, and you know how much I hate that.”

“Yeah you _do_ like to take centre stage, your grace.”

And just like that Tony was on his knees, Loki’s grip on the back of his neck bordering on painful, forcing him lower, reminding him how strong exactly the Asgardian was.

“You’re a worthless little bitch, _Anthony,_ and I do believe you need to have your name taken away as well. Just to make that completely clear to you.”

As well? As well as what?

Loki straightened. Tony didn’t dare to move.

“From now on I will refer to you only as ‘slave’. Maybe at some point I will consider letting you earn a name. And since you are not a person, you don’t need clothes. Strip.”

What? Surely Loki didn’t mean completely naked, right? They had _just_ talked about that! Hard limit.

Tony wiggled out of his clothes as best he could while still kneeling, head down, and stopped when he was wearing nothing but his boxers.

“Please your grace may I keep my underwear on, sir?”

“ _Your_ underwear? Who picked that? Ordered you to wear it?”

“You did, sir.”

“Exactly. And the answer is no. When you were still my sub I allowed you underwear. Now you are nothing but a slave. Practically livestock. Take it off.”

Tony was deeply conflicted. He didn’t want to. He really, really didn’t want to be naked in front of Loki. Had Loki been lying to Tony about his desires? Was this an attempt to turn their relationship into something sexual after all? Even though Loki knew full well that Tony didn’t want that? Tony was just drawing a breath to call his safeword, when Loki said:

“I will grant you this. I expect you to be grateful.”

And just like that Tony’s black and green boxers were transformed into a white loincloth. A freaking loincloth! Tony was entirely too shocked to even think about the fact that technically Loki wasn’t supposed to use magic during a scene.

“Up,” Loki ordered, and Tony obeyed. “Inspection position.”

Oh dear god please no. But he obeyed again. Loki turned the lights up to the highest setting, and then he took his sweet time circling Tony again. And Tony stood, eyes front and centre, feet apart, hands clasped behind his head. In a loincloth. It should have been funny, or ridiculous, or surreal. But it wasn’t. Humiliating, yes. Degrading, dehumanising, unsettling. Yes.

Tony swallowed, trying to hold still. He was shocked to realise that he was only a hair’s width away from begging. _Please, sir._ What would he be begging for? To be allowed to put his clothes back on? To kneel or cower instead of having to stand in a position that fully exposed him to Loki’s gaze? To Loki’s hands, if Loki chose to touch him?

“Hm,” Loki said, and it sounded neutral, detached. “Hold position.”

And he left the room.

When he came back Tony forced himself to keep his position. Not to look. There was a sound he couldn’t quite place. It was familiar, in a way, but he knew he hadn’t heard it in along time…there it was again, from a slightly different direction, and all of a sudden Tony knew what it was. A polaroid camera. He started to sweat.

“Turn towards me, slave. Present yourself.”

And Tony did. And Loki took another photo of him, naked, in a freaking loincloth. The first two were lying on the table, but Tony wasn’t allowed to look.

“You are going to do everything I tell you to, and I will take a picture every time I think something is particularly amusing, or humiliating.”

He was clearly waiting for something, so Tony said:

“Yes, you grace. Anything you want, sir.”

So Tony spent the next hour licking Loki’s boots, eating Loki’s leftovers from a dog bowl, serving as a footstool while Loki watched a TV show about snakes that freaked Tony out just from the audio, and again and again the polaroid camera snapped a picture. The collection on Loki’s table grew.

“What’s your name, slave?” Loki asked at some point, and Tony was terrified to feel tears sting his eyes as he whispered:

“I don’t have a name, sir. I am a slave.”

“True,” Loki said, and started to write the word ‘slave’ on Tony’s chest. Tony’s eyes flicked down, and when he realised that Loki was using a freaking permanent marker, he lost it.

“Shit Loki are you completely out of you—”

“Do not,“ Loki snarled, “ever again use that tone on me, pathetic slave!”

Tony’s chest was heaving.

“For fuck’s sake Loki, _red_!”

Loki dropped the marker and framed Tony’s face with both hands.

“Shh, Anthony, please. Do you trust me?”

“I… I don’t…, I mean, shit, Loki. A permanent marker??”

Loki wiped his palm over the letters on Tony’s skin, and they were gone.

“That’s… cheating,” Tony breathed, but there was a smile tugging on the corner of his mouth.

“Do you wish to end playtime?”

Tony closed his eyes for a moment.

“No, sir. Please continue.”

And with a purr of satisfaction Loki went back to work, covering Tony’s body in writing. And then he took half a dozen polaroids from every angle imaginable.

Tony stood, practically naked, and he was trembling slightly.

“Are you cold, slave?”

“No, sir, it’s fine.”

Loki raised his eyebrows. And with an elegant, understated gesture he dropped the temperature in the room. Within minutes Tony was shaking, teeth chattering.

“Go over to the table and look at the photos, slave. I want you to pick one. Take your time.”

“Yes, s-sir.” So cold.

Tony found himself staring at all the pictures documenting his shame, his humiliation, and he was literally unable to process the sight. So cold. Oh god he was so cold.

“Slave?”

“I… please, sir, I’m… I’m so cold.”

“You said you weren’t. Did you lie to me, slave?”

Had he? Had it been this cold when Loki had asked? He couldn’t remember.

“Please, Sir.”

“Please what? Also I recall giving you a task. Which you haven’t fulfilled yet.”

Tony couldn’t think. His brain just didn’t… do what it was supposed to do. What task? He was staring blankly at the photos. What if anyone saw these? And why had Loki used a freaking _polaroid_ camera instead of just using his phone? Where had he even… oh. Oh! And Tony’s knees gave way. He sank to the floor, cold, so cold, shaking, unable to stop shaking, and only when Loki rushed to his side and threw a blanket over him did he realise that he had been murmuring “please, sir, please, so cold” all over again and again and again.

“It’s alright, Anthony, you’ve had enough. Come on.”

And he helped Tony up, blanket still around Tony’s shoulders – nice, fuzzy, warm blanket – and led him to the bathroom.

“Shower or bath?”

When Tony didn’t answer, Loki just magicked the bathtub full of steaming hot water with nicely smelling bubbles.

“Can I leave you alone or are you going to crash again?”

“Hm? What? On, no, I think I can…”

“Get in the tub. I’ll check on you in a minute.”

And Tony lowered himself into the tub, barely remembering to get rid of the loincloth – a freaking loincloth for fuck’s sake! – and oh god so good. The water was heavenly, warm and soothing, and the warmth seeped into his frozen bones and stiff muscles, and the bubbles smelled like lavender which he had never really cared all that much about but now it was just perfect…

“Are you decent?” Loki’s voice came through the bathroom door. Tony grinned, made sure that all his private bits were covered by the bubbles and called out:

“As decent as I’ll ever be!”

Loki was chuckling as he opened the door. His arms were full of fabric, and when he started unloading it turned out to be towels, fluffy socks and a fuzzy robe.

“I’m not even going to ask,” Tony said and sank a little deeper into the warm water, while the writing started to disappear from his skin.

When he emerged from the bathroom half an hour later wrapped in layers of warm, soft materials, Loki had a fire going in the fireplace, and there was a smell in the air that could only mean pizza. Homemade pizza.

Tony stared at Loki.

“What…?”

“I thought you deserve a little pampering. Hence, pizza. There’s beer or wine, whichever you prefer, oh and I think we need to talk about whether or not I am supposed to use magic. Lay down a few ground rules.”

“I… okay…”

They enjoyed the – incredibly good – pizza, shared a bottle of red wine, talked about this and that, Tony reluctantly admitted that yes, magic could come in handy, and then he leaned back and chuckled.

“A polaroid camera.”

Loki shrugged.

“Safer,” was all he said, and the little bud of trust Tony had developed bloomed into a beautiful flower and made him feel all warm inside. Or maybe it was the wine. Maybe it was a bit of both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are! The end! I will add another chapter that is the ending I was PLANNING on publishing, though. Thank you for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ending That Never Was  
> (deleted scene)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a while I didn’t really know how to go on with this story after chapter 8, so I wrote an ending. But then jotumeno had a few really good ideas, and after I had used them, the ending didn’t make sense any longer. So I cut it, but like most writers I am way too enamoured with my own writing to actually delete it, which is why you now get a bonus scene/deleted scene. I hope the guys are very grateful to jontuemo for sparing them this…

The next morning Loki showed up in the penthouse, and Tony knew right away that something was wrong. Which was confirmed by the first thing that Loki said:  
“I can't do this anymore.”  
Tony stopped breathing for a moment. And then he clenched his jaw.  
“What? You had what you wanted and now that’s it?”  
“That’s highly…that’s not it. It’s just not… what I need. It’s not working. For me.”  
“What the fuck are you even talking about?”

Loki squared his shoulders.  
“Please accept my decision, Tony.”  
Huh? It had never been ‘Tony.’  
“Are you fucking kidding me? You throw me away and expect me to just accept that? No explanation? No apology?”  
Loki took a deep breath.  
“If our roles were reversed, if you came to me and told me you can't go on - I would.”  
“Without asking questions?”  
Loki hesitated for a moment, but then he nodded.  
“Unless you volunteer the reasons, yes.”  
“I... That's...”  
Tony threw his hands in the air.  
"Fine. I'm sure you understand that under these circumstances I won't let you stay in the Stark Tower."  
"I do. What little I possess is already packed. I can leave right now if that's what you want."  
 _No! What I want is..._  
"Yes. Do that."  
Loki just nodded, and a moment later he was gone. _Fucking hell._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had I really posted this as the ending I might have written an epilogue in which Loki does explain himself.
> 
> Thank you for reading – this was really hard! But I’m glad I accepted the challenge, and the fact that it was hard doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun!


End file.
